


Sinnoh Is My Home

by Judithan



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Extortion, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kidnapping, M/M, Not As Serious As Tags Imply, Past Abuse, Slow Burn, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-07 07:05:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8788264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judithan/pseuds/Judithan
Summary: Alola is a long way from home, but your mother always did say that life was about adventure. When Team Skull gets the drop on you you’re left with a choice: join their ragtag team of hoodlums or lose your pokemon. There’s no way you’re losing your pokemon - and no way you’re letting them hold you prisoner.You’ve only got one option left: play nice and escape when you get the chance. What you’re not banking on is actually liking these lunatics.





	1. what a headache

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A New Family](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8718355) by [ChibiBox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiBox/pseuds/ChibiBox). 



> aka I'm really gay and really trans and want to be kidnapped by team skull  
> please let me know if there are any typos!

You’d give anything for snow at this point. Sun beating down, tropical breeze barely cooling down the 90 degree heat outside. It’s melting you from the inside out and honestly you don’t know why you decided to come to Alola for your first try at a tournament.

In fact, you don’t really know why you came here at all - well, besides your mother insisting.

“You’re still young, why don’t you go out on an adventure!” Was how it all started. “I have a friend in Alola, professor Kukui, he can help get you on your start!” No matter how much you insisted you would rather stay home, it wasn’t going to budge her. She had already gotten you planes tickets and before you knew it you were standing in front of the airport being greeted by a shirtless guy who claimed to be the professor.

That was all fine and dandy, and honestly you didn’t mind a lot of it. It got you away from your mother’s nagging and hey, now you had time to maybe catch a couple pokemon or two. Everything would be fine and dandy and you’d have a great time!

What you weren’t counting on were the thugs.

Team Skull.

Blazing hot outside, trying to catch a moment of rest in the shade, and there they were - two on one as if that was any kind of fair.

“Hey yo, you better fork over your pokemon! Team Skull’s got a bone ta’ pick with ya!” Beanie, bandanna, pants that rode just a _little_ too low. God they looked dorky.

Not that you would ever tell them that, but still.

“...I’m sorry?”

“Oh, shit, you’re not a trainer huh? Well, uh,” He awkwardly looked to his cohort. “Hand over all your money! This is a holdup!” He didn’t even have any of his pokemon out. Talk about unprepared.

You can’t help but let out a little laugh at his expense. What did he really think he was doing? Of course you were a trainer!

“You want a battle? Cuz I can give you one.” No hesitation, you toss out a pokeball, your beautiful Luxray emerging with a proud roar. “Alright, Envy, let’s show them what we can do!”

And they just stood there. Staring.

You’re really not sure what to do at this point, but you’re not daring to put your Luxray back in her ball. That was a for sure way to get your ass kicked. Even if these were the most incompetent stooges you had ever laid your eyes on.

‘Jeez, and I thought Team Galactic had problems…’

Why were they still smirking though?

“Salandit use poison gas!”

A cloud of fumes and toxins exploded in your face, your mind only just now registering the third grunt who had approached from behind. Envy cried out, rushing to try and stop you from collapsing. Fumbling and scrambling to grab her pokeball, you put her away, clutching tight as you could. There was no way these creeps were going to steal her from you.

“Ya’ don’t know when ta’ give up, huh? Think ya’ got some spunk left in ya?”

You glared down the grunt in front of you as best as you could.

“Let’s take’m with. Make a nice present for the bossman.”

-

You find yourself face to face with the most tired looking human being in the entire universe. Dark purple bags drag under and around his eyes, a constant slouch keeps him at eye level, and good God did he love to sneer.

“Boss! We got a feisty trainer! Figured you could use the manpower!” Stars practically beamed out of their eyes they were so prouebd of themselves. If it wasn’t at your expense - and boy did you try at those ropes they had you in - you might have found it a touch endearing. But it was at your expense and you weren’t laughing one bit.

“Hush up! Y’all givin’ me a damn headache. I’m the boss, I say when we need new recruits.” He snapped at them, voice gruff and just as tired as one would expect of his outward appearance. Even if he told you he did regularly sleep you don’t know if you would honestly believe him.

“So, what is it, kid? You good at battling?” He was directly asking you, and despite every fiber saying to fight him on it, you behaved yourself well enough.

“I’ve gotten a couple badges back home, so pretty decent.”

“Badges, huh? Well, those aren’t gonna do ya’ much good here. How about this - a battle. I win, I get your pokemon. You win, you can keep them but you have to work for me.”

“What kind of wages are those?” You exclaim, but it falls on deaf ears, the grunts are already untying you and handing you your bag back. You could easily take all your pokemon out, wipe these jokers out and make a run for it - but where would you go?

Kukui had to have been looking for you, right? Or maybe Hau?

“That’s our Big Bro for ya!”

“Kick their ass!”

The grunts seemed to have been having a great time cheering their leader on. The two of you drew your pokemon out, a one on one it seemed like. One round, one chance, no takebacks. This wasn’t going to be an easy battle that’s for sure.

“Wanna see what destruction looks like? Here it is in human form - it’s ya boy Guzma!”


	2. it's ya boy Guzma!

 

Guzma was a tough match. In fact, you hadn’t had a battle this exhilarating in a really long while - not since you went up against Candace for your third badge. It was his Golisopod versus your Luxray, and like hell if you were gonna let some bug squash you.

But that bug was a tough son of a bitch, and even after two sparks it was still standing strong. You had to finish this, fast. He had already gotten a couple solid blows in on Envy and she wasn’t going to be able to take a whole lot more without serious consequences. Of course, she wasn’t going to let on that she was getting tired, stance ready and bristling with electricity.

This child did you proud.

“Envy, let’s end this quick! Discharge!” You cried out, and Guzma physically recoiled at the command.

“Are you stupid or something?!” He called out in return, face incredulous. Regardless, Envy executed the order.

A dazzling shockwave of electricity blossomed from your Luxray, knocking out the Golisopod in one fell strike. But the electricity didn’t just stop there. It shot out in a wave, hitting Team Skull’s leader as well as the grunt that stood cheering on from that side. Oops.

“Oh - oh fuck, oh shit, are- are you okay?” You run forward, stopping just short of Guzma. He’s doubled over, sparks flicking from him every now and then. Looking up, he shot you a nasty glare, but proceeded to stand and brush it off. At least, he tried to make it look that way. You still noticed him wincing when he moved in any capacity.

You really messed that up, huh? Fuck.

They were gonna take your girl, weren’t they? Or at least try to. There was no way you were going to let them, though. But if they had a sneak attack planned for you like last time there wasn’t much you could do about it either way. You had to be ready, though. You couldn’t let them take the one thing you had here.

“Take your pick.” Guzma spoke after a short while.

Wait, the deal was still on?

You could still make a run for it when they weren’t looking. It wouldn’t be hard to dash off in the middle of the night, make it back to Kukui and Hau and eventually go home. 

Home, huh?

You take another look at your girl, Envy. She’s still on edge, fur bristled to the max and sticking to your side like glue. You knew there was no way they were going to be taking her from you without major consequences - on their end at least.

A day away from the professor and them wouldn’t be enough to make them worry.

“What happens if I join you - your team?” You ask, courage barely holding enough to get you through the sentence. Every fiber in you is praying that Guzma isn’t smart enough to see how much you’re trying to control your hands shaking.

“You get a uniform, a bed, and considerin’ ya beat me, I’m gonna be sticking you on guard duty first thing in the morning.” He snapped his fingers at one of the grunts who scurried off, returning quickly with a uniform. At first you’re nervous to examine it, but you see that they’ve given you pants and a muscle shirt - the male uniform. You verbally let out a sigh of relief.

“I’ll leave you with these boys to get you to your dorm. Your first shift starts early. I’ll send someone to nab ya’.” He walks off with a dismissive wave, and you’re left alone with the three grunts that had initially kidnapped you, and your precious Envy. She nuzzled up to your leg, trying her best to comfort you.

Even if this wasn’t the most ideal situation, it wasn’t going to last forever and you could run away soon and make it back home -

Why did that word make your stomach churn?

“Ey, newbie, follow me.” One of the grunts said, exasperated at best. “You’re gonna be bunking in the boys room -”

“Uh, about that -” You interrupted, and he gave you a weird look. “I, would prefer to stay with the girls, if that would be possible.” Stupefied and annoyed, he was trying to look at you for any explanation as to  _ why in the world would they let you do that _ ? Sighing, the reached under your shirt and brought up your binder strap. “I appreciate that you guys think I look the part, but I don’t think staying with the other guys would be such a good idea for right now.”

“Oh. Jeez, that- sorry, bro.” The grunt smacked his own forehead hard. “You probably get enough hassle from people, I didn’t mean to make it worse or nothin’.” It’s a real moment of compassion, and you can’t help but admire how quickly he’s changed his view of you. Of course, you’re still not a huge fan of the fact that he was one of the one’s who had  _ abducted  _ you, but it’s a start.

“It’s fine. I’m used to annoyances and misunderstandings.” You spoke bluntly and he only seemed to be mildly hurt by it. If anything, the two of you were now on even terms - well, the kidnapping still pissed you off but  _ whatever _ . It wasn’t like you really had anything better to do. The Island Challenge wasn’t going anywhere and at the end of the day a bed was a bed. And from the window outside you could see it was already dark, and the pokecenters were likely to be full by this hour. That is, if you could even make it to one tonight.

“Here’s the girls dorm, here, let me-” He gave a loud knock to the door. “Newbie coming in, get ‘em situated!” An irritated girl from inside opened the door, giving you a once over.

“This late? Jeez, alright, come on in.” She gave you a tired look but invited you in regardless.

It was understandable that she was so pissy, it was almost midnight according to your rotom dex - you were amazed the cheeky guy wasn't popping out his opinions more but maybe he understood the gravity of the situation. Further inspection turned out that he was just sleeping. Typical.

Inside the room you found it to be a mostly organized mess. Everyone seemed to have their own bed, nothing really more than a community hamper for holding clothes. Seemed like all the chores would be a group effort, not that they ever seemed to get done. Though it wasn’t like you would be staying that long though, you kept telling yourself.

But then again, besides the actual kidnapping they hadn't really been too unreasonable or rude. 

In fact, they were much more accommodating than your mother had ever been.

“Here newbie, this will be your bed for now, though don’t expect to keep it - people here like to sleep wherever, ya feel? If you need anything just ask.” She gave you a reassuring pat on the back, smile unwavering despite how incredibly tired she looked. Part of you was wondering if you could snag a real introduction from her, but you figured you could get a name later.

“You guys aren't bothered by me, right?” You ask after a moment of hesitation. It was obvious that she had noticed that you were trans, there wasn't any way to really hide the deepness of your voice.

“Sweetie, half of us here are a part of the LGBT community in some way or another. Kids don't exactly get kicked out by being good, straight, pure children. Bastard parents have made a lot of us homeless.” She gave you a reassuring squeeze to the shoulder. “I don't know why you're here, but trust in us. We act tough, but we protect our family.”

Family…

“Well I've got the first shift for collection in the morning so I've gotta get some shut eye. You should get some too.” And with that she walked over to her own bunk and left you to yours. It took you a moment to relax enough to take your binder off, shoving it in your bedside drawer as if it belonged there.

You weren't going to stay long, just enough for them to give you a good opening. That's all it was. Nothing more, nothing less.


	3. civility

 

“Get up, hey.” You feel a hand jostle you awake. It’s a guy, bandanna covering his face. At first you’re startled, unsure of where you are. “You’re starting guard duty in ten, get dressed.”

Then you remember - the abduction, the deal. You groggily acknowledge them and they wait outside for you. You slide your binder on, and then your new uniform. It feels a bit awkward, but you’ll get used to it. Though the beanie doesn’t do your unruly hair any real favors. Plus the pants are still so damn dorky. You try your best to hold them up with a belt but it has a dropped crotch.

At least it’s a masculine look.

Outside the dorm room it’s rather chilly, the other grunt explains the insulation in the house is absolute shit. You give a little laugh at it and walk along in a comfortable silence.

Eventually the two of you end up outside Guzma’s room. From here you can swear you hear snoring, but you don’t comment on it.

“This is the boss’s room, as you know. You’re not allowed in without his permission. Don’t bother him with dumb shit, he’s got better stuff to do. Don’t allow anyone except Plumeria in. If you see anyone suspicious, battle ‘em inta’ submission!” He gives you a rundown of your duties, and you nod along with what he’s saying. It doesn’t sound too hard, especially for a shift this early. “Oh, and since you’re being stationed here, you’re basically Guzma’s bitch. Just a heads up, cuz.”

“I’m what.”

“Haha, good luck!”

And just like that he had run off. Great.

-

The shift was relatively uneventful. At least it was for the first few hours, since the boss was sleeping. Your Luxray kept you company and in return you combed her fur with your fingers. It wouldn’t be too much longer til you would be relieved and you’d be onto your next task.

You heard a crash in Guzma’s room, followed by loud groaning, followed by even louder cursing. What on earth was he doing in there?! Without thinking, you reached for the door handle, only to stop at the very last moment. You have one job: and that’s not to disturb him, or let him be disturbed. It’s absolutely absurd, but you knock anyway.

“You okay in there?!” You ask loudly, Envy giving you an annoyed look at all the racket. Rolling your eyes, you return her to her pokeball so she can get some rest.

You don’t hear a response right away, and decide to take the chance and open the door. Peeking inside, you see a disgruntled, shirtless Guzma in a fight with his blanket. And losing.

“Ah, uh, can ya'… give me a hand?” Letting out a hefty sigh, you walk over and offer him a hand up. It only takes you a moment to realize that he’s not only shirtless but is in nothing but his boxers. Embarrassed and sheepish you can’t help but look away, completely turning your back to him once he’s on his feet.

This man was supposed to be your boss right? This wasn’t some weird practical joke, right?

“You can go back outside ‘m fine, don’t worry.” Guzma says, voice groggy and heavy. You don’t dare turn around but you can hear him rustling around - maybe getting dressed? You can only hope.

“Alright!” You’re clearly red-faced and overeager to get the fuck out of there. He doesn’t make any other comments and you close the door when you get outside.

There are a couple grunts passing by and they laugh a bit at your direction.

“Boss doin’ alright in there?” A boy asks, snickering a bit under his bandana. It’s only dawning on you now just how bad this probably looks to others. Every single bit of you is trying your best to not over-explain - they’re just teasing you. You know this. It’s nothing new, but it still makes your hands even more clammy.

“Y-yeah!” You finally let out and the girl accompanying gives you a funny look.

Arceus almighty, this was looking bad.

“What’re you slackers doin’?” Guzma asks, you’re not sure when the door opened but it startles you enough to lurch forward in shock.

“Ah, Boss! We’ve got somethin' to show you!”

“Let me guess. You stole another bus sign.”

The boy tries his best to hide the metal plate further behind his back.

He gives them a yelling-to. It makes you flinch, recoiling a bit further into the door. Even if you were expecting them to act like a real gang, you weren’t ever used to yelling. It made you nervous, anxious, vomity.

“Now get outta here and get something useful done!” He yells after them and they practically scurry off.

After they’re out of earshot, he turns to you, grin wide on his face.

“Those kids are gonna make me proud, ya hear?” You give him an incredulous face, absolutely astounded by his behavior. Everything about him makes you nervous and you chose to just not say anything. Not like he wants you to say anything. “Now c’mon, follow me.” You do as you’re told and head down the stairs with him.

When he takes a turn into the kitchen, or at least what  _ looked _ like a kitchen, you’re a bit surprised.

“You know how to cook?” He asks, a sneer plastered on his eternally-tired face.

“Pretty decent, I’d say.” Is all you can manage, awkward in his presence. 

“We run this town, but there ain’t anyone here but us. I want you to get this kitchen functioning by the end of today.” He orders, handing you a large sum of money. Part of you wants to refuse you -in fact pretty much every single fiber in your body insists that you refuse- but you just stare dumbly at him for a moment and raise your hand to accept it. Why were you doing this? You were going to leave soon! There was no reason for you to do this!

“Ya’ may not have the wild blood in you, butcha work for us now. Whether or not ya’ wanna be a part of the family is up to you, butcha wear the Team Skull uniform ya’ better make it count.”

No shouting, no yelling, it was a genuine offer. No doubt clouding your vision, you took the money.

He gave you a cocky smirk, tired eyes squinting.

“Attaboy, now I want this kitchen lookin, well -” He paused for a moment, probably giving a moment to consider just what the rest of the house looked like. “Make it usable. I want a whole dinner for the Team tonight. And maybe you can put that Luxray of yours to use on the generator!” Letting out a raucous laugh, he left you to yourself in the kitchen.

Honestly, you were just glad to be off guard duty.

Clean first, or go get supplies first… hmmm…

You took a look around the kitchen and found it to be almost entirely empty, save for a couple of boxes that were full of miscellaneous ingredients that didn’t really amount to much. In fact, it didn’t amount to anything - it was mostly just spices, canned goods and the sort. Nothing of much substance or sustenance. And he wanted you to feed the entire team? That had to have been at least three dozen, maybe more. Well, at least now you had a decent inventory of the stuff they already had. Now it was just a matter of getting to a store.

Leaving the house -and getting plenty of looks on the way from loitering grunts- you found the town outside to be a storming hell. Your rotom dex beeps up about how this is Po Town, and it never stops raining. Ever. You sigh, pulling your bandanna a bit further up on your face.

You were going to get that kitchen in operation even if it killed you.


	4. Plumeria

 

Getting supplies and groceries for the kitchen was extremely awkward, you had to admit. You had to go to an entire other island to find a decent place to shop, and it was so nerve wracking going in by yourself. So much so that you actually ended up asking for help from a Team Skull grunt who happened to have been in the town. You don’t know why they were here, but he certainly was helpful.

“My name’s Lano, cuz.” He says, trying to seem Too Cool, gesturing about like a madman.

Despite him looking and sounding like a dork, you introduce yourself as well.

“Here’s the boat, yo. Ya’ need me to help ya’ get back home?” He offered and while you wanted to refuse and say you could handle it, you knew it was too much to carry back on your own - even with your pokemon’s help.

“I’d really appreciate the help.”

“Nah, man, don’t think nothin’ of it. We’re a family, yo.” He says, hands forming the Team Skull insignia. You can’t help the laugh that time, and he just sighs, shaking his head.

-

The ride home is uneventful. Wait - home? No, not home. Back to the house. Not home.

You wouldn’t have let anyone hear any of that though. They already gave you strange enough looks as it was. When the two of you got inside the groceries you had bought had been properly soaked by the everlasting storm outside, but there wasn’t any actual damage.

Lano helped to bring everything into the kitchen but quickly dismissed himself for guard duty - aka loitering about like the rest of the bums in this Team. Not that you really minded. He was a nice guy but you needed the quiet to focus.

"This is gonna take a while by myself, though."

Getting Envy out of her ball, you had her help place things where they belonged. She was a great help, despite how much she wanted to protest - after all, when you got to eat, she would get to eat. And from the way she was meowing sadly, she was pretty hungry - and so were you if the growling in your stomach was any indication.

Well! You just had to roll up the proverbial sleeve and get it done!

-

You had been working on getting everything sorted out for about an hour or so when you heard the door creak open.

“So the rumor’s true, huh?” It was a girl, very unlike the other grunts, though. She had dual-colored pink and yellow hair, white makeup highlighting her eyes. Everything about her seemed dangerous, and if you didn’t know she was on your side you might have been nervous.

No - not your side, Team Skull’s side.

Why were you trying to get so comfortable, anyway? This was all a waste of -

“That idiot really is having you work on this alone? What a…” She trails off, walking in to properly assess what you’d been up to. “You’re new, yes?” You know she already knows the answer, but you give her one anyway.

“Yeah.”

“It’s not right for you to be doing all this on your own. Let me help you.” Bold and wide-eyed, she doesn’t exactly give you the room to let you say no. In fact, you found that happening quite a bit lately. What was with these people?

Weren’t you supposed to be finding a way to duck out? Why did you insist on being so nice - why did  _ they _ insist on being so nice?

You could have just run out while they had sent you out, given Kukui and Hau a quick text and gotten on the quickest plane back to Sinnoh. You could have gone home, but instead you came back here -

“Sure, if you want to.”

No matter how much you wanted to scream, you had to stay cool. There was no reason why they would suspect you, there was no reason why you would be under watch. Being new wasn’t a crime - well, kidnapping sure was, but you had to get past that at some point.

“I’m Plumeria, Team Skull’s admin. I heard you just joined.” She says, helping to put up some of the food you had gotten into the fridge.

“Joined isn’t exactly how I would put it, but sure, yeah.” You put the word 'joined' in visual quotation marks. This certainly gets her attention.

She doesn’t say anything but the look on her face is asking you to explain what you mean, and who are you to say no?

“A couple of the grunts kidnapped me, Guzma said it was either giving up my pokemon, or working for him.” She watches you while you work, and you’re too scared to look her in the eyes. “I’m not an idiot. I know when to give in. My pokemon are more precious to me than anything.”

“You got a family?” She asks, and you stop mid movement.

Plumeria doesn’t look angry, doesn’t look agitated, she just looks concerned.

“Back in Sinnoh. I’m here by myself.” You say after a while of silence. Stealing a glance at her, you can see that she’s clenching her teeth, eyebrows furrowed. “I want to go back, but if Guzma-”

“He’s not keeping you here.” Her words are sharp. They’re sharp and they hurt. “He’s a drunk and an idiot but he’s not keeping anyone anywhere. If he said he wants you here, there’s a reason why. He doesn’t keep people on the Team that don’t want to be.”

“What?”

“Did you battle him?” You nod. “Goddamnit, of course you did. See, that’s why. He sees a potential in you. He wants you to go out and make chaos and do every selfish thing you’ve ever wanted.” The more she explains, the more you feel your head hurt. “So tell me - what do you want to do? Do you want to go home?” It’s a genuine question, but you don’t have a genuine answer.

You could leave if you wanted to. You could go back. You could continue on your island challenge. You could go home.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I want to...” The words sound foreign to yourself.

“No regrets. Be firm.”

“I can’t say I won’t have any regrets - but… I don’t want to go back.” Your chest hurts, but not because of your binder. Under the layers of muscle and bone, you can feel your heart hurt. It’s a real pain, an ache. You clutch at your chest, hoping it’ll help dull it, anything. “I can’t face her. My mother, she doesn’t-” Words get caught in your throat and you can’t bring yourself to say it.

Can’t bring yourself to think about the horrible, nasty things she’s said to you.

Plumeria doesn’t seem to need to hear it, just gives you a reassuring smile.

“Alright, kiddo, let’s get this kitchen in working order. I could go for some real food for once.” You wipe the tears from your eyes before they can fall, nodding to her all the while. This wasn’t going to be so bad, you decide.

In fact, you think you could really get used to this kind of treatment.


	5. trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for mild transphobia (will be updating the warnings in the tags as they begin to apply!)

It’s already late when you get dinner done - but you get it done. Plumeria is hardly a good cook, but she’s a decent enough assitant. In fact, you’re not sure you could have met Guzma’s high demands without her help, and you thank her sincerely.

“Don’t mention it.” Is all she says, a stern smile on her face. You can’t help but take it literally - don’t mention she was here. Perhaps she was stepping out on her admin duties? Wasn’t unlikely. Fortunately enough dinner was a success - four giant pans of casseroles was enough to feed the giant family with minimal effort and dirty dishes. Guzma was one of the last to eat, slouching lazily over to the kitchen.

“Not bad,” He says, face more or less neutral. If you had to guess, that was a good sign, considering how bad the bags around his eyes had gotten.

Hadn’t he gotten enough sleep? Or was it just a condition? You figured you could ask later- for now you had to finish cleaning up and getting everything prepped for tomorrow. If there was one thing you knew you couldn’t do it was to procrastinate.

“Ey, cuz, thanks for the food!” One grunt commented, giving your hair a good ruffle. She seemed friendly enough, her wide grin showing off a missing tooth or two. “Need help cleanin’ up?” What was with this group? Some of them loitered and slept all day, and some acted like perfectly helpful samaritans?

Apparently you had asked that out loud without realizing it.

“Family helps family, I’m sure even you get that, huh?” She replied, grabbing a bundle of dishes and clattering them into the sink. “You’re new, so trust doesn’t come easy to ya’, but you’ll get it, just give it time.”

They were right about one thing - you were new. This was just day one, but it had already gotten so many ideas in your head. So much so you seemed to be swimming in your own nervousness and doubt.

You still had time to think, though. It had only been a day, but everything was happening so fast.

The two of you -Roxy, you find out her name- work on getting the dishes finished up and head to bed. She’s beat from being on guard duty all day, and you can’t even begin to imagine it - your clothes got soaked just passing through town, let alone just standing out in the unrelenting rain. It was amazing any of them managed to stay healthy. She insists it’s all fun, though, standing around spouting ‘hot raps with the bros’, as she stated word for word. You can’t help but giggle at it.

The two of you find your own beds and she passes out immediately, snoring loudly and proudly. To be honest, you would have also, if not for the anxiety.

You still had to tell Kukui. You still had to tell your mother.

Joining a gang? What would they think? They’d think you lost your damn mind that’s what! Well, you didn’t need to tell them  _ all _ the details, maybe just that you were running off - but you could still end up running into the professor. You could still end up running into Hau.

And you weren’t even really sure if you really wanted to do this! Joining Team Skull wasn’t what you _wanted_ , it was something you were initially forced into - and yet here you were still.

You had the option.

You could leave right now.

There was nothing stopping you besides the comfort of the bed, and the rain outside. Nobody was going to tell you to stay. Even if they wanted to keep you here, you could get Envy to take them out and you’d be home free.

_ “It’s like I don’t even know my own daughter!” _

You pull your hands up to your face, fingers tangled in your hair. No matter how much you want to forget, to move on, you can still hear her horrible words.

_ “You’ll never be a boy-” _

The sound of her saying your birth name was like nails on a chalkboard, was like fire to the throat, was like a dagger to the heart. Every time she said it you wanted to vomit, and yet you still called her house ‘home’ despite that.

And here these complete strangers were, giving you a bed, giving you respect, giving you whatever you needed so long as you do as you were asked. What part of that was less of a ‘home’ than your mother ever gave you?

Plumeria said to trust them. 

In fact, she wasn't required to ask for your trust. She didn’t have to want it. But she did. Regardless of everything she could have, or should have done, she still was the one to approach you today. Plumeria asked if you needed help, did what she could, and you had to respect that, honestly.

Idiots in chaos, thugs running amok, what was so wrong with that? Sure they did some shady shit, and sure some of them were probably assholes, but that was everywhere. And if those people were going to be the ones protecting you at night?

You could learn to trust them.


	6. adjusting

 

The next couple days pass by without any real event, honestly. You spend the morning watching over Guzma’s room, making sure nobody comes or goes. Every day it’s the same thing - nobody comes except a couple of grunts making dumbass exclamations about some Tough Shit they did, of which is never really of any importance.

“Boss, look what we stole!” It was a stuffed animal.

“You’ll never believe the world of hurt we put that loser in!” They battled a kid and lost tremendously.

“Haha! The look on their face was priceless!” Some graffiti in the street, buy they didn't even have time to finish it before being chased off by the authorities.

In reality, they were all rather harmless. The only things they’d done as of late that you could even consider a threat, was yourself. Stealing you was the only real bold act they had accomplished, and even then, you didn’t care about it much. It wasn’t like they were honestly Bad People or anything, and it wasn’t like you were being held hostage.

All things considered, this was probably the most fun you’d had since you were a child. Ah, not that you would ever let onto that, of course. No way in hell.

With being on guard duty for so long, you had plenty of time to mull over how you really felt about all of this. Of course, you wanted to snap at the kids who had kidnapped you, but the one that you had talked to when you first got there - who apologized for misgendering you - he seemed to have been alright. Probably just got some dumbass idea in his head and went along with it.

In fact, now that you thought about it, that’s what a big majority of the ‘crime’ here seemed to be, except y'know, maybe not the whole stealing and taking over an entire town thing. That still baffled you, no matter how long you had been here.

“Hey, you’re that newbie, right?” Speak of the _devil_. It was one of the grunts that had been there when you got kidnapped - not the one who had taken you to your dorm. No, this guy had short purple hair. “Got yourself a pretty nice spot, huh?” He sneered, head tilting to the side, letting out a gross pop.

“I’m sorry?” You ask, unsure of what to say, really. You’re trying your best to not start a fight, but this guy - was he looking for one?

Now that you could actually get a good look at his face, you’re almost positive he was the one that had instigated you in the first place.

“No need to be gettin’ hostile, I’m just here to pay ya’ a little visit. Tell you I’m sorry and all that.”

“Wait, what?” He couldn’t be serious.

“I get it - you’re pissed we kidnapped you, that’s why you’ve been sulkin’ around the past couple days.”

“I have not been-”

“C’mon, you’re not foolin’ anyone. Do yourself a favor and be honest about it at least.” He gave you a cocky grin, bandanna down to show you his full face. If you really gave him a solid look you could tell he was actually being pretty genuine about this. Though, if you knew anything about Team Skull it’s that they were all idiots when it came to subtleties. This guy was clearly no exception.

“You’re right. Yeah, I’m pissed that you kidnapped me. I’m pissed that I got threatened, and I’m pissed that it was made to seem like I was being held captive.” You say, voice shaking despite all of your efforts to calm yourself. “But, it’s…” He gives you a curious look, eyebrow cocked. “It’s not that bad here.”

He gave out a loud laugh, a real smile showing on his face.

“C’mere bro,” And before you can say anything he’s got you locked under his arm, hand ruffling up your hair. “I just wanted to apologize, but hey, you’re not bad yourself, y’know that?” You can feel your stomach all aflutter at his statement.

You take the moment to introduce yourself properly to him.

“I’m Kalani. If you ever need help, just call for me, kay?” He gave you his number and you could feel yourself become sheepish at the gesture. This certainly was a bold move, that’s for certain. He leaves shortly after and you can’t help but feel upset at yourself for having such an embarrassing encounter.

-

Your relief came shortly after - that same kid who you had met on your first day there.

“Holdin’ up, huh?” He asks through the bandanna, and from the way he’s drenched to the bone you can tell he’s been out in the rain. If it didn’t make you uncomfortable just from looking at him you might’ve laughed at his misery. You really were too empathetic for your own good, if you had to be honest.

“Yeah, it’s not bad.”

“We all thought you were gonna run out in the middle of the night, it’d only be natural, y’know? But it’s good to see you stuck around.” For the life of you, you can’t understand why these people are being so pleasant to you. Why would they? It didn’t make sense! “Go get some sleep, cuz. A true Team Skull member doesn’t work as hard as you are!” He laughed a bit at that, and you just gave him a tired sigh in return.

Regardless, you thank him and head back to your room. Inside, you see Roxy fast asleep on her bed, though she was also sprawled over the bed next to hers. What a dork. You left her be, though, taking your binder off and putting it at the foot of your bed, slipping your shoes off and slipping under the covers.

It was nice and cozy under the covers and it felt nice to be able to lie down after a long, vigilant shift.

A quick catnap was all you really needed. After you got that you would get up, get to work on dinner, and maybe if you had some free time afterwards you could acquaint yourself with some of the grunts here. After all, they weren’t bad at all, just misguided at worst.

You fall asleep content with your plan for the rest of the day.


	7. initiative

 

You’re working on the dishes after dinner when Guzma stops by to visit you. He comes by just to snag the last of whatever’s there - not much after the handiwork of his family of bandits. Roxy is helping you with the dishes, talking and chatting about nothing in particular, just helping to acquaint you with some of the older members of the Team.

“Lano? Yeah he’s a huge dork, honestly-” It’s only when Guzma coughs that she stops talking, the two of you give him your full attention.

“Ey, kid, come with me, I’ve got somethin’ for ya’.” He looks tired as all hell, but you don’t say anything, just look to Roxy for an answer of any kind. She just shrugs back.

“I’ve got this, you head along, don’t worry!” She practically sing-songs to you, and you’re a bit thrown off by how cute she’s acting now, compared to when you met her. If anything, you honestly found it to be adorable, but didn’t dare to say anything. The girl may have been younger than you, but you weren’t going to be disrespecting anyone accidentally with weird compliments.

You gave your thanks and head off after Guzma. 

He was already at the front of the house by the time you caught up, face towards the rain, sunglasses down. Looking around, there weren’t any grunts nearby, a couple off in the distance fucking around ontop of an abandoned car. Guess the storm would be a good enough deterrent that they could lighten security.

“You can go.”

Shaking your head, you thought you had heard him wrong over the storm.

“I heard you talking about how you wanted to leave. If you don’t wanna be here, then get out.” There wasn’t a hint of joking in his voice, not even his usual drawl and accent that usually came out. He’s being serious. For the first time since you got here, he’s being serious, and it seriously scares you. But he’s right - you did want to leave, you wanted to run away, but now you wanted to stay? You weren’t even sure anymore.

“I-” You try talking, but nothing comes out, and you’re not even sure he could hear you.

What did you want?

Everything logical and smart in you was telling you to take the chance, to run, to get out of there as fast as you could, but your legs weren’t moving. You didn’t want them to. You didn’t really want to go.

“What’re you waiting for?!” He punches the door right near your head, practically pinning you to the door.

You can feel yourself trying to shrink, trying to become smaller, trying to become less of a threat or something, anything-

And then you smell the alcohol. Looking up at him you can suddenly realize why he’s wearing the shades even with it being almost midnight.

“Are you- are you crying, Guzma?”

Hands shaking, you pull his sunglasses off, and you see the most conflicted look you had ever seen on a man. Tears, clenched teeth, tired red eyes. If you had to guess, he was just out of his damn mind tired and drunk. Plumeria had said he had a drinking problem...

“I’m not - Goddamnit - if you don’t want to be here, leave, already-”

He wipes the tears from his face in a single swipe of his palm, but it doesn’t stay dry - the storm made sure of that. Your hands are shaking, knees barely keeping you up, and no matter how hard you try you can’t find the energy to walk away.

No matter how much you want to, you can’t walk away from this.

No. You don’t  _ want _ to walk away from this.

Guzma’s got your attention, loud and clear, and there’s something incredible in his strange attempt at confrontation. In fact, you can almost admire the fact that he’s gone to this human of a level just to make you feel... comfortable? Was that it?

“I’m… I’m not going anywhere.” You declare.

He looks at you, wide-eyed, completely shocked.

“After all your bitchin’ and moanin’ and you-” His accent is coming through again and you can feel yourself relax a bit. “You’re a headache, y’know that?”

“And you’re drunk and getting us both soaking wet. Let’s go back inside and get you dried off and into bed, mkay?” You offer him a hand, shaky as it might be he doesn’t seem to notice.

It’s a bit awkward leading a grown ass man to his room, but the other members of the Team don’t seem to give you too strange of looks - well, the looks aren’t necessarily directed at you so much as they are the drunken Guzma you’re leading along like a child on a leash. When you finally get to his room you notice that it’s colder in there than the rest of the house -surprising considering how abysmal the insulation was outside of the bedrooms.

Looking around, you find an old space heater that seemed to work off of batteries - dead of course. And there was no way you were going to the store at this hour. 

“Here, Envy.” You pop your Luxray out and she looks a bit offended at the chill in the room. When you show her what you need of her she lets out a low growl, annoyed at the demand, but complies. It kicks up to life, the smell of burning dust filling the room, along with a cozy warmth.

“Ah, man, ya’ didn’ have to…” He drawls off a bit, squatting down to bask in the warmth.

It was now that you noticed the tipped over bottle of tequila on his nightstand - which hadn’t been there the last time you had looked in here. Honestly, you should have expected this kind of behavior.

He really must be drunk out of his mind, though.

Once the room is finally warm enough, you tell him to give you his wet clothes so you can hang them up, and after a bit of resistance - “No you jus’ wanna look at my  _ butt _ ” - he gives in and gives you his jacket, shirt, and pants. You insist he keep his boxers on. You don’t want or need those. He grumbles a quiet ‘thanks’ and passes the fuck out, snoring loud and content.

In the last week you had seen this man almost entirely naked twice. What a headache.

You try to spread his clothes out as well as possible over the headboard of his bed, hoping that hanging them up like this will make them dry a bit better. Envy watches you unamused, still keeping the space heater on with her body’s natural current. You were honestly so thankful that Envy loved you as much as she did - especially with what you had heard about strong-willed pokemon ignoring their trainers.

Guzma looks peaceful while he sleeps and you can’t help but look around the room a bit - you wouldn’t call it snooping, by any means. Just looking at what he had on display. There were a bunch of bottles of alcohol on a shelf, any that were open were at least half-empty. It didn’t surprise you a whole lot, but what did surprise you was the picture you found framed off to the side. It looked to be Guzma and Plumeria in front of the house, along with a few grunts. In all honesty, it warmed your heart a little.

Almost looked like a family photo.

You figured you should probably stop looking around your boss’s room before anyone got suspicious. The room was warm enough and Guzma was out cold, so you bet it was safe enough to leave it as is and he wouldn’t get sick or anything.

“Great job, Envy. Let’s get some sleep hmm?” She gave you a happy chirp in response, rubbing into your hand for some well-deserved ear-scratches.

Putting her in her ball you decided to head to bed, being extra cautious to close the door quietly behind you.


	8. consequences

 

Guzma’s in no mood for talking to anyone the next day. Plumeria is absolutely pissed that he let himself get to that point, and is scolding him all morning about it - to which he just yells back even more pissy.

Sitting outside the room on guard duty wasn’t exactly pleasant, but it was like every other morning and Envy was happy enough to keep you company - you had snuck her a little bit of meat from the kitchen and she was purring content as could be. The sound of fighting always made you anxious, and she could tell, trying her best to distract you from it. Honestly, what did you do to let Arceus bless you with this beautiful child. You nuzzled yourself in her warm fur.

Eventually Plumeria lets off, and Guzma proceeds to storm off somewhere. You don’t pay it much mind, except when Plumeria doesn’t leave right away.

“You okay, sis?” You call in at her, and she doesn’t acknowledge you right away.

You can see her shaking a bit and every fiber in you is praying that she isn’t crying because you are absolutely the worst for consoling. Fortunately when she turns around she looks absolutely fucking pissed, not sad. Well, not  _ fortunate _ because you know Guzma’s head was about to be mounted on the wall, but at least it’s not a crying Plumeria. You wouldn’t even know where to start with that.

“That  _ jackass _ ! He thinks he can just do whatever he want and drink himself to death and-” She let out an angry cry, kicking his bedframe and immediately cursing and kneeling down. Foot versus steel. Steel usually won.

You try to approach her as best as you can and she shoots you this  _ look _ .

“Do you want me to help with anything?” Is all you can manage and you can see her take a deep breath.

“Let’s just, go get something to eat, hmm?” She was physically shaking still, rage still hot in her blood, but she tried her best to slick back her hair and look presentable.

“There’s a nice cafe on the island over, how about we go there?” Is all you can offer, only having gone there once with Hau before all of this started.

“Yeah, that’d be nice, thank you, sweetie.”

-

The cafe was nice, not too busy for this time of day which was pretty surprising. From what your rotom dex had been telling you it was a pretty popular joint. Plumeria seemed to enjoy the food, and you couldn’t help but poke fun at her.

“Did you actually taste any of that?” She gave you a soft slug to the arm. “Hey, no punching I’m just kidding!” You both laughed at the weird voice you did with it.

The two of you chatted for awhile, she was honestly really funny once she became more comfortable with someone. After a while the two of you decided to make your way out, and you were so enthralled in the joke Plumeria was telling that you didn’t even notice the person standing right in front of you.

You smack into them with a solid  _ thud _ .

When you finally regain composure and look up at who you had ran into, you feel your heart stop.

“Y-you’re a part of Team Skull now?” His voice was shaky, eyes wide. You could feel your stomach jump into your throat. Giving you another look up and down, it was like he couldn’t believe his eyes. To be honest, it wasn’t an overreaction, but you wish you could’ve done this at a later time, preferably after you had rehearsed it.

“Professor Kukui-”

In a panic, you look to Plumeria but she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything - what were you even expecting of her?

“No, I get it. I understand.” He could only shake his head in disbelief, staring at you.

“I just-” Voice caught tight in your throat and you couldn’t seem to speak loud enough for him to hear. Everything was too hot, too bright, you could feel your vision swimming.

“What about your mother? Have you told her?” You looked to Plumeria again and she had begun to bristle up, shoulders hunched up like a feral Shinx - trying to look so much bigger than she was.

“No, not yet-”

Your hands were starting to shake, but you steadied them by balling them into fists. You could withstand this, you just had to take it, accept the guilt, just move on. That’s all this was. Surely Professor Kukui would understand, you just had to explain to him what had happened and he would get it, he was a smart man, after all.

“She’s already got so much to worry about, and now her child’s in a gang? What is she going to-”

You had absolutely  _ had _ it with the tip-toeing. From her, from him, from every single person that refused to address you as you were.

“Her  _ SON _ is in a gang! And don’t you let her fucking  _ forget it! _ ”

You made to lunge forward at him, maybe give him an underhanded sock to the jaw - but you felt a hand on your arm stop you.

Plumeria.

“That’s enough,  _ bro _ .” She emphasized it, spat it at Kukui. He looked dumbfounded, unsure of himself, and you left angrier than when you had arrived. 

-

The boat ride home was quiet, you mulled over what you had said.

“Plumeria, I wasn’t too nasty, was I?” You ask, head in your hands, eyes closed. If you looked up now you would probably get sea-sick. Being out at sea was hardly what you would consider an ideal, but here it was the only real mode of transport.

“Not nasty enough.” She offered a hand to the shoulder, a cockiness to her voice.

“Maybe I’m not cut out for this sort of thing.” Tugging at your shirt, you let out a heavy sigh. Plumeria seemed to get annoyed at your comment, eyes narrow once you finally got up the courage to look at her.

“That’s what we all thought, even Guz. You two are a lot alike, did you know?” You shake your head. “I don’t want to speak for him, but he doesn’t have the best relationship with his family. In fact, I don’t think any of us do.”

She uses her nails to lightly scratch your shoulder, it tickles but it’s pleasant.

“Family is hard. Don’t think you need to call your mother your family just because she’s your blood relative. Family sticks up for each other.” On the horizon, the ocean is calm, and you don’t feel horribly sick to your stomach for once. In fact, this was almost pleasant.

“I think I’m gonna talk to Guzma.” You decide.

“Oh yeah?”

“Last night, he confronted me about wanting to leave.” There isn’t a hint of shock on Plumeria’s face, almost like she was expecting to hear this. She probably was. “He was drunk and crying, I ended up having to drag him to bed and dry his clothes off.” That certainly got her curious, eyes lighting up with curiosity and concern.

“He’s a handful, that’s for sure.” Plumeria couldn’t help but laugh, fingers twirling at one of her twintails.

“I want to ask him to make me an official part of the family.”

“You already are.” An arm wrapped over your shoulder, you can’t help but smile wide, stomach filled to the brim with beautiflies. You could see now why all of the other members called Plumeria their big sis. She really did act like a big sister.

When you finally get back to Po Town you’re happy to finally be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry kukui, i know ur a better man than that


	9. reputation

 

“Heard ya’ got in a fight with that professor!” Word certainly got around quick. Your little run-in with professor Kukui had only been yesterday, and yet you had already gotten three people asking you about it just that morning.

It was Lano who had approached you this time, that dorky guy who helped you bringing back groceries during your first day.

“Yeah, it wasn’t anything, just a little tussle.”

“Nothin’ ain’t nothing’, bro! That was a real show, yo!” How would he know? He certainly wasn’t there. Rumors could be a dangerous thing.

You were on guard duty for Guzma once again - part of you wondered why you always got this shift, but it just seemed to be the last-pick-shift that nobody wanted. Maybe he was a grump in the morning? Not like you ever really saw him awake for long. In fact, for as much as he did sleep you had to wonder why he looked so exhausted all the time.

“Keep it up, we rootin’ for ya!” Another bout of gestures and he was off, leaving you to yourself and your thoughts.

This early shift certainly was lonely, besides all the random teammates that came running through when they pleased. In fact, it was almost like you were the only one actually following orders - or maybe disobeying? Well, the order of ‘disobey me’ was something of a paradox and you chose not to think about it for long. All that would cause was a headache.

Behind Guzma’s door you can hear shuffling, though no banging or cursing for once.

He emerges wearing his usual tank, pants, and … fuzzy pink slippers? Were those new or had you just never seen them before?

“Ey.” He spoke, groggy and obviously half asleep.

“Good morning.” Was all you could offer, a bit stunned by his incredible footwear.

“You wanna go get some Tapu Cocoa with me?” It took you a moment to realize that he wasn’t pulling your leg, and was actually asking if you wanted to go get some hot chocolate with him. If it wasn’t for the fact that you could expect anything out of him, you might have found it to be a bit ridiculous. A gang leader and nuisance extraordinaire - getting up in the morning in fuzzy pink slippers and the first thing he wants is hot cocoa?

Honestly, it was pretty endearing.

“Your treat or mine?” You ask, and he just gives you a tired, crooked smile before shutting the door again.

Behind the door you can hear him talking to himself, not loud enough to figure out what he’s saying, but you think you can hear the word ‘idiot’ out of it. Maybe a weird pep talk of sorts? It wouldn’t be entirely out of the question. You’d heard some of your teammates talking to trainers about their own low self esteem or bad battling prowess. Not that you would ever tattle to Guzma about them.

“Alrighty, you ready ta’ head out?” He asks, and you can barely hold back straight up telling him  _ duh _ .

“I’ve only been sitting around for the last five hours waiting for some excitement to happen. Of course I’m ready. Where we headin’?” It was only now that you’d realized you’d already started picking up on their slang, slurring your words a bit, shortening sentences to the minimum needed.

It had barely been a week and you were already so used to this.

Though, you couldn’t really say you minded it.

“Figure any city with a workin’ pokecenter is good, all of ‘em have cafes in ‘em now’days.”

The two of you board onto a ferry in a pleasant silence - it’s the longest you’ve seen the Team Skull leader quiet, and it’s a little strange. Not unpleasant or awkward, but something that makes you worry just a touch. Looking over at him, you see that he looks dead on his feet, exhausted, honestly.

“You okay, Guzma?”

“Just never sleep well, is all.” He spoke quietly, eyes shifting back and forth to make sure nobody was close enough to hear. It made sense that he would wanna keep it on the hush-hush but he was acting like it was a huge deal.

“Insomnia?” You ask, and he doesn’t say anything, just nods shallowly.

“Why don’t you just get a pokemon to use hypnosis on you?”

“Tried it once. Not doing that again.” He pulls up his white undershirt and points out a faint scar - so close to his normal tone you had missed it previously. It seemed to be pretty old considering how light the color was, his insomnia must’ve been going on for a pretty long while.

“Damn, that sucks.” Is all you can offer him and he gives you a laugh.

“Yeah, it sure does.”

When you get to the cafe, he orders for you, getting the both of you Tapu Cocoas. You insist that you can pay for yourself but he just flashes you a dumb grin while handing the barista his cash. It’s a bit embarrassing, but you just let out an exasperated huff and let him.

“Thanks, Guzma.” That certainly wasn’t what he was expecting.

He recoils from the gesture, face turning sour, cheeks reddening. Had he never had anyone thank him or something? What a weirdo.

Well, considering his current profession, you couldn’t say you it was really that weird of behavior.

“So, I don’t think I ever asked, but how old are ya’ again?” Guzma asks, doing his best to act like a regular human being - it doesn’t really work considering he is who he is, but you give him credit where it’s due. He’s at least keeping his voice down enough that no one else can hear.

“I’m 19.” You answer honestly and he cocks an eyebrow at you, eyes wide with surprise.

“Really?! Damn, I wish I was as good a trainer as you at your age.” His accent is coming through strong, and it’s a bit endearing honestly. What a goof.

The barista hands you the cocoas and you thank her, heading out of the pokecenter - you could tell since you walked in that Guzma wasn’t exactly comfortable inside. Probably too white and sterile for his taste.

Outside the air is chill, the ocean giving a nice cool breeze this early in the morning and you’re appreciative for the cool temps. The hot heat was too much for your poor icicle blood.

The two of you walk and talk for a little while, just little things like the grunts stealing one of poor Officer Nanu’s meowths - the man was furious, and almost busted down Guzma’s door himself.

“I nearly pissed my pants, you have no idea.” You laugh even harder, trying your best not to spill your cocoa. “He got it back! I didn’t even do nothin’ to it! Wasn’t like I was going to either, I know that man’s meowths and I know he’d break me in two if I ever did anythin’ to any of ‘em.” The fear on his face is real and you can’t help but laugh even harder.

This went on for a while, the sun having risen past noon by now - your rotom dex chirped up that it was already two in the afternoon. Had the two of you really just been chatting for over an hour? Wow, time flies.

In all honesty, you had finished your cocoa a while ago but hadn’t said anything. This was a nice moment, and you really did enjoy spending time with Guzma, as strange as it was.

It was no wonder why people seemed magnetized to him.

On the ride back you could see him physically relax, lounging back against the railing. From where you were standing, it looked like he was sleeping standing up. Actually… that was exactly what he was doing. His sunglasses were down so nobody else could see, but you could tell.

Arceus almighty, Guzma was such a damn dork.


	10. unavoidable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter actually triggered me to write (being a trans man myself) so fortify urself before continuing, cuz its a damn dozy.

 

Days pass by uneventfully. Well, that wasn’t really the case, there was always something going on in some way or another. Officer Nanu had come up to the house every now and then to yell at Guzma, threatening to shut him down. But he never acted on it. The poor guy didn’t have the energy or manpower to, and all participating parties knew it.

Fortunately you had finally gotten off of the morning shift for guard duty, one of the boys taking over for you. You were incredibly grateful to not be waking up at the crack of dawn like you had been the last few weeks. On the downside, you were so used to it that your body woke up on its own and you weren’t able to fall back asleep. Which left you restless and lethargic.

“What should I do…?” By now it was already ten and you were pacing around not sure of yourself.

Honestly, you hadn’t really had any real breaks since you’d come here, besides the occasional bite to eat with the bosses. Were they even your bosses? They acted more like they were just your friends.

Eventually you decided to head to the ‘family room’, at least that’s the best way to describe it. In reality is was just a hang out spot for the Team, two tvs, two wii u’s, in all honesty you hadn’t seen it in use for what you were expecting it was for, but like hell if you weren’t going to use it.

You popped in a competitive fighting game, getting a bit of practice in to lull your mind into a state other than restlessness. It only worked for a while, as soon you had a small crowd of a few of your teammates watching you play.

“Aw sick combo, bro! That was so clutch!” In all honesty, it made you swell with pride. But the pressure didn’t help your performance at all, your hands becoming sweaty the more people watched.

It had been a while since you had played, but you used to be rather good at these kinds of games.

As was evident by the fact that half of the people watching were stunned speechless by your ability to run circles around anyone that wanted a match. Though, all good things had to come to an end and soon Plumeria was stepping in to tell them to clear out.

“Alright you bums! Get some actual work done! This town ain’t gonna destroy itself!” The grunts all responded with a hearty ‘no!’ but left regardless. It was honestly rather funny.

You stayed put, seeing if she needed you for anything.

“Guzma wanted me to give you this. Kitchen allowance.” She cut right to the chase and you could tell she had been having one of  _ those _ mornings with the grump. If not for the noise of your teammates you might have been able to hear them arguing. Now you were thankful that you hadn’t.

Fights always made you extremely nervous.

“Alright, thanks Plumeria.” Unhappy as all hell, but she still tried to give you something of a smile. Well, it wasn’t quite there, but it was enough.

-

After dinner was finished, you had two people helping out with cleaning up the kitchen, both of which had been watching you play earlier in the day. In fact, they seemed so impressed they wanted to have a real pokemon battle. You insisted against it, telling them you only had a little bit of experience in battles - in reality you just didn’t want to tell them you only had the one pokemon on you for now since you hadn’t had a real chance to catch any new ones since you got here.

You would catch some new pokemon here, that was for sure, and you would do it the proper way.

It just, needed to wait a little while, is all.

The three of you finished up and headed off to bed - well, guard duty for the one. You honestly felt sorry for him but not enough to cover.

On your way back to your room, you heard the sound of your rotom dex buzzing, signalling you got a message.

Who could  _ that _ be, especially at this hour?

Did Po Town even get decent enough reception? Well, you had to assume if some of the other teammates had pokenavs and the like. What a wonder that all this technology from different regions would be compatible with each other.

When you finally loaded up the messaging app you nearly dropped your dex.

It was your mother.

You felt like you were going to vomit.

No, no, no, no,  _ no _ .

‘Hey kiddo!’ She always  _ did that _ , using nicknames to avoid using your name. ‘I hope you’re having a good time in Alola. At least, I would hope so if I hadn’t heard such troubling news from Kukui.’

Oh, here comes the guilt trip. Of course.

You were almost tempted to not read anymore of it. Just block the number. Just ignore her forever.

‘A gang? Team Skull? I thought I raised you better than that, young lady!’

Tears were starting to form in your eyes.

You clutched your stomach tight.

‘Your father and I are disappointed in you, and we are demanding that you come home immediately. I am sending Kukui to pick you up and take you to the airport.’  _ No _ . ‘I knew sending you to Alola would be a mistake, let you out of my sight for two seconds and you’re already causing trouble.’

You punch a wall, hand stinging hard but you can barely feel it over the flurry of emotions clouding your vision.

‘Please don’t think of me as a monster, I’m only doing what’s best for you, ----’ Your birth name. Your dead name.

Tears start falling down your face, body shaking with rage.

“Oh fuck-” You barely register the voice near you, your eyes widening. Oh god, had they seen this whole display. Arceus almighty, no, that would be too much-

Looking up, you feel like a deerling in the headlights.

It’s Guzma. Of course it’s Guzma.

You can’t stand to look him in the eyes, and instead you just collapse to your knees.

“What happened?!” He sounds angry, and you flinch at his words. He notices, and you can hear him swearing at himself under his breath.

Even if you wanted to, you don’t have the energy to explain. Instead you just hand him the rotom dex, showing him the message you got. He’s silent, too silent.

When you finally gather up the courage to look at him you can see him seething with rage. Of course it’s not at you, but you can’t help but try to make yourself feel small. He notices that too and attempts to calm himself.

You flinch when he reaches out a hand to you and you can tell that it hurts him. You can’t help it though, it’s not him.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.” Is all he can manage, and with his voice as quiet as it is, you barely even recognize it coming from him. Hesitantly, you accept it and he pulls you to your feet.

He pulls you into a crushing hug, and it’s only now that you honestly realize how much larger he is than you. Even with straightening your back, you barely go past his shoulders. Towering over you, he hugs you tight, and you can’t help but reciprocate. Everything hurts so much, except for this.

Who knows how long you stay like that, but you know it had to be a while. It’s honestly a surprise that no one happened to pass by, because Guzma wouldn’t have been caught red handed like that. You practically melt into the embrace, letting yourself get comforted by his warmth. It doesn’t exactly hurt that he smells nice - like clove and rum.

“Don’t let them get to you. No matter what. You say you’re a boy - then you’re a fuckin  _ man _ okay?” His words are harsh, but you know what he means.

You can feel your heart starting to beat again, like it’s been pieced back together enough to function again.

After a while he lets go, and you can see his eyes are a bit red as well, and he’s got tears and drool all over his jacket.

“Sorry…” You sheepishly apologize but he ignores it.

“It’ll wash out in the rain.” Can’t help but admire his inability to give a fuck.

“You gonna be okay to get some sleep or did you wanna walk it off?” He’s not pressuring you one way or another, which you appreciate.

“Were you heading out?”

“Couldn’t sleep, so I was gonna go get some cocoa.” He states, and you feel conflicted over your choices. “You should come with, I don’t want you bein’ by yourself right now.”

Even if you wanted to argue, you don’t. He’s right; you don’t want to be alone. Especially right now.


	11. responsibility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was originally gonna wait until i had another chapter done to post this but chapter 10 hurts and im not gonna do that to u guys

 

The rain outside wasn't as bad as you were expecting. It still never relented but at least it was only a drizzle for now.

Guzma doesn't say much, just walks along with you. You're walking a bit slower than usual, mind heavy and body exhausted to be completely honest, but he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he seems to be enjoying the light rain, soaking it in.

“You doin’ okay, boy?” You know he wanted to call you kiddo, but changed it last second.

You mentally thank him for that, but don't have the energy for it right now.

“Tired.” Is all you can manage and he lets out a sad chuckle in response. He didn't seem to be doing much better himself. Insomnia had its way of destroying a man, no matter how much he insisted he got the beat down on everyone and everything.

There isn’t an operating pokemon center for a ways, and you were having a hard time walking straight. Your mind was foggy with self-doubt and dysphoria and anger and-

Suddenly the world tipped up from under you.

And you felt hands on your shoulder and arm.

You nearly tripped on some stray rubble, but you didn’t fall. Connecting the dots, and pulling yourself back to your feet, you found the reason to be Guzma - catching you before you could crash into the mud. He just gave you a cheeky grin, and you can’t even attempt to reciprocate it. All you felt like was a damn mess. At least he was there to catch you, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit better at that.

“Ey, watch your step.” Bashful and awkward, he looks away once you’re to your feet.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” You’re sheepish and sleepy as all hell.

The rest of the way to the harbor is a quiet walk, and you can't help but notice that Guzma is walking closer to you. Almost too much to bear, but you know he's just worried.

Worried you might trip, worried you might wander off, worried you might fall into the harbor. You haven’t said anything about that, but you know how you feel, and you know he knows. It’s not exactly a hard kept secret.

When you’re finally at the cafe, you can’t help but feel awkward - it’s obvious you had just been crying your eyes out, you’re more or less soaking wet from the downpour of Po Town. It’s obvious that you don’t belong here. You ask Guzma if you can just wait outside, now wanting people to look at you in the light.

“Alright, but don’t go wanderin’ off, okay?” He sounds annoying, but agrees regardless and disappears inside.

You want to cry.

This was so much, too much. Despite better judgement, you open up the messages on your rotom dex again. Reading it over and over again, you try to make sense of it all. You try to make sense of why she would treat you like this, why she would say these things, why she could  _ be like this _ . You know it’s not entirely her fault - she’s always had a fleeting grasp on reality, you know she’s always been sick. Calling your stepdad your ‘father’, though, what a fucking joke. But it’s not funny and you’re not laughing.

You’re just tired and trying to find answers in anything.

You want to say something, anything, yell and scream that horrible name wasn’t yours anymore, shout that you were a boy and nothing she could think would change that. You want to scream and scream until your lungs give out, but you can’t. Nothing will come out and you’re frozen in fear and loathing.

You’re exhausted, and you can’t even begin to make sense of things.

Why did you even come here?

Why did you come to Alola? You didn’t even want to come here - you just -

You wanted to get away from her. Get away from that name she would call you that wasn’t yours. Get away from the way your stepdad would sneer at you when you started taking hormones. Get away from the name calling and the looks and the ignored words.

You wanted to go somewhere that people would listen to you, for once in your fucking life.

No matter how much you want to run away, from everyone and everything, you know that this ragtag group of moronic thugs was the closest thing to a family you had ever been a part of. They listened to you, they let you act on your own, they gave you compromises and a safe place to stay.

The door to the pokemon center slides open, light pooling into the street -it’s too bright and you have to squint at it. Guzma walks out, two cups in hand, a half-hearted smile on his face. He wasn’t perfect, but he was doing his best.

The two of you walk to a nearby bench, sitting and staring out at the marina. It’s quiet, no boats coming or going at this time of night. Just the stars and moon above, the din of the islands in the distance illuminating the horizon. It’s the image of peaceful and you can feel yourself finally starting to relax a little. Not much, but enough to be able to talk again without your voice cracking every couple seconds.

“You don’ have to do this, y’know?” He starts, sipping on his cocoa as casually as he can. “I’m a brute and an asshole, but you don’t have to be so scared of me you give into my every whim.”

You actually laugh a little at that, and he side eyes you.

“I’m not going along with this just for you, don’t give yourself that much credit, Guzma.” You can feel his eyes on you and it makes your sudden ability to talk give out a bit. “Ever since I got here, I’ve felt strange. It’s not like back in Sinnoh. I feel like when I’m here… I actually have a weight to my voice. The things I say are actually heard. It’s still tough, being essentially alone, but you guys make it easier.” Staring down at your drink, you only notice out of the corner of your eye when you see him stand up, making to lean against the rails.

“Ah, stop it, you’re gonna make me sick with that kinda sweet talk.”

“Part of me wants to go back, though.” That makes him snap his head back to you, eyes alit with anger. “Not to stay, don’t worry.” He slouches back again. “I want to get my shit, tell her off. Tell her I can make it on my own, and then do it. I want to be my own person, not what my mother wants me to be.” A wide grin cracks on his face, and you can tell you’ve gotten his complete and utter approval.

“If that’s what you think you wanna do, then do it. There ain’t nothing stopping you.”

Your head hurts at the idea, though it could just be all of this happening at once. It’s too fast, and you know it. In fact, you both know it. Doesn’t make it any easier, though.

“Not just yet, though. I need some time.”

“Yeah, yeah, I feel ya.”

Eventually the two of you walk back to the house, and he gives you a reassuring hand on the shoulder before heading towards his room for the night. The feeling of his hand lingers, and you can’t seem to shake the fast beating of your heart.


	12. reactionary

 

“Let’s go.” It’s been about a week since your mother had messaged you.

Guzma is the one that confronts you about it when you don’t do anything, don’t go anywhere, don’t say anything.

In fact, for the last week you had been more or less avoiding everyone and everything. Ducking away from his gaze, minimizing conversations. You hadn’t even wanted to talk to Plumeria as of late, much to her worry for your general being.

“What?”

“Did I stutter? You’ve been moping and sulking around for the last week.” He grabs your hand, and you can’t help but recoil at the touch. It hurts him, you can see it on his face. He doesn’t mean to be aggressive, he just is. You don’t think anything of it. “Let’s get this over with. I already have the tickets.”

“I- I don’t think I’m ready, Guzma-”

“You’re never going to be ready enough to tell your mom you never want to see her face ever again. It’s not  _ want _ , it’s  _ need _ .” There’s something complicated in his expression, something you could never possibly understand. Something vicarious and selfish, and you want to forget you ever saw it.

You know he’s right, though.

In his trembling hands are two tickets to Snowpoint city.

Was he planning on going with?

You can’t help but wonder where he got the money for this kind of thing, and on such short notice, too. The town was a complete disaster and didn’t even have proper utilities running, and he somehow managed to scrape up the money for two short-notice plane tickets? You don’t know if you want to know, in all honesty. With the rumors you had heard, sometimes not knowing was the better option.

There are heavy bags under his eyes - same as always, but he seems more torn, more frustrated, more passionate. You don’t know what it is, but there’s something there and it scares you. More than yelling, more than screaming, more than denial, it’s something passionate and expressive and it scares you.

Beyond all common sense, you take the ticket. It’s for tonight. There’s no way you can back out.

“Alright, Roxy, Plumeria, this is what I had planned for tonight-” You show your two teammates, no, your two  _ friends _ , the recipe you were planning for dinner. They give it a solid look over and try to reassure you that they can do it.

They don’t really know how to cook, but you know they’re trying to learn.

It was a start, at least.

Bags packed, Envy tucked neatly in her pokeball, you and Guzma board for the airport in Melemele island. It’s a ways away, but Guzma reassures you that you’ll get there before the plane takes off. Honestly, you hope a freak accident happens and you miss it altogether.

This might be too much, to be honest. Too much and too soon and too quick and maybe you should have just run when you had the chance. Maybe you should have deserted him on that night.

Every time you think about it, he looks at you with a knowing face.

You don't know if you can do this.

He grabs your hand tight, his own shaking horribly.

You both look like a mess and you don't know if this is a good idea but before you know it you're boarding the airplane and getting seated. Everything feels awkward and you can feel the stares on your back. Being Team Skull meant something in Alola, but off of the islands it was just embarrassing. Guzma doesn't seem to care, just soaks in the glares.

“The big bad hated boss, yknow?” Is all he offers and you laugh a little at it.

The ride is boring, as were all plane rides. Guzma didn't seem to take well to being in small confines with little to do.

“Why isn't there anything to do?”

“Get some sleep, or you're going to get jet lag when we arrive.”

“Hnnngg, but I can't sleep, you know that. And their cocoa tastes like shit.”

“Guzma, keep your voice down, there are children.”

“But I'm bored.” He kicked his legs a bit for emphasis and you just smothered your face further into the jacket you were using as a pillow.

“Here, just, sleep.” You pull him towards you and decide to use his shoulder as a pillow. If you can't make him shut up at least you can physically subdue him. He gets the hint and settles in, letting you do as you want.

You're not sure why he's letting you, but you don't mind it at all. It's nice to have him to yourself.

After a while you notice he's fallen asleep, light snoring coming from him every now and then. It's sweet, honestly. And a little endearing.

This big, tough, brute of a boss. Subdued by the smallest of actions and letting himself relax enough to sleep. You can't help but play with his hair a bit, the white parts of it soft and curly, the dark undercut smooth. He seems to push into the touch a bit, a small content sigh coming from his lips.

Your heart nearly beats out of your chest.


	13. Snow

 

Guzma had never seen snow in his entire life. To him it seemed like some weird myth that ice type trainers made up, or maybe even a government conspiracy. But here he was, standing a foot deep in snow and throwing it around like a child. Or a madman. Honestly, he was somewhere between the two. It was still endearing to watch, though.

When you had landed, you grabbed your cargo - thanking Arceus they hadn’t lost it in transit like this shitty service was known to do - and headed towards the outer corner of the city. Snowpoint was where your mother was currently living, and where you had grown up the majority of your life. Though, you could never stop feeling like Hearthome was where you really belonged in this region, it was such a beautiful city and you constantly felt homesick for it. But that wasn’t here or there.

A snowball hit you directly in the face, and you felt your body tense up at the sensation. Wiping it from your face and hair you found the culprit easily - a wide grin spread over Guzma’s face. He was clearly enjoying himself. Much at your expense.

“Oh, it is  _ on _ .”

You tackled him into the snow, rolling about in a flurry, shoving snow in his face. Getting the drop on him made getting on top of him easy, but he was so much taller, so much more built, and was able to flip you easily.

He straddled over you, proud and gloating.

“Haha! I win!”

You could feel your face heating up, red to the tips. Partially from the cold snow melting under your winter jacket, partially from the fact that here Guzma was. Straddled over you. In the middle of snowy nowhere. The grin and pompous laughing didn’t do you any favors - in fact you couldn’t hardly look him in the eyes without your heart racing.

This was bad, this was so bad.

Fortunately he didn’t let it drag on -thank every merciful God there was listening- and helped you to your feet. In fact, he even tried to help brush you off, but you insisted you could do it yourself.

Sinnoh wasn’t what he was expecting and he was hardly dressed for it: a long sleeved white thermal under his typical short sleeved jacket. You felt cold just looking at him. Though, he didn’t seem to mind it one bit. In fact, he seemed to be doing just fine. Probably his own thick skull and hot blooded temper keeping him warm.

Walking for a little while out of the city, you found a small cottage, and you could feel your fingers becoming even more numb than they were already. This was it. No turning back. Well, that wasn’t true, you could run still. But this wasn’t what you came here for. You came here for a  _ reason _ .

You came here to confront your parents. You came here to prove that you weren’t fucking around anymore.

And even though you weren’t entirely sure why Guzma had dragged himself along, you were infinitely grateful for him. Just his familiar presence was enough to make this entire experience more bearable. You could do it. He knew you could do it.

When the both of you approached the cottage, he stopped, grabbing your hand and giving it a solid squeeze.

“You’re a man. No matter what they say. If they do or don’t accept you, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that  _ you _ know who you are.” He’s serious for once and you don’t know if you like it. In fact, you kind of wished that he would just give you some dumb pep talk about crushing skulls or something like that. Though, you know he does half of that for show.

You approach the door, hesitating to knock. Guzma gives you a nod. You knock.

The world seems to stand still while you wait, the snow, your heart, time itself, everything stops. All you can do is pray that the first thing you see isn’t a fist in your face. Well, if that is what happened, that would at least make things easier on your heart. You don’t know if you can really handle this, but Guzma’s here and he doesn’t take his eyes off of you.

Now that you think of it, maybe bringing him along wasn’t the best of ideas. The gang leader that your parents were so terrified and disappointed of? Maybe this was a bad idea.

Actually, you knew this was a bad idea.

And then the door opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i was late on the chapter! been super busy with holidays and work and stuff  
> the next chapter might also be late sorry about the cliffhanger! (though chapter 14 is rly long so look forward to that!)


	14. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the delay on updates, i've been super busy with holidays and working on game development stuff

Your mother answered the door. Every feeling of contempt and disgust surfaced within you at the look on her face. You could feel your stomach curling into knots. You could feel your throat dry up, hands become clammy, fists tightening around the handle of your luggage. Try as you might, it probably showed on your face. There was no way it couldn’t, but you could try.

“----, you came home, I see.” You want to vomit.

All of the courage you had inside of you disappears. You can feel yourself shutting down.

Even after all this time, you thought she would be better than to use your dead name against you. Apparently you were wrong.

“I, yeah, I-” You can’t speak. Everything hurts. Your vision is swimming.

“Well, you’ll catch a cold standing out there, come inside.” No matter how frozen your legs are, your body seems to move on its own. You walk inside, Guzma follows suit, not saying much of anything. You wipe your feet at the mat, snow coming off fairly easily but it’ll cling to everything until it thaws.

When you’re finally inside you start to warm up, a fire lit at the hearth keeps the house warm. Nothing seems to have changed since you were last here and that in and of itself almost makes you nauseous. Nothing ever seemed to change here except for you.

“Oh, and if you don’t mind me asking, who are you?” She’s addressing Guzma, and he’s clearly a bit pissed off by it. People not knowing who he was always did. You could only pray he wouldn’t go on his usual spiel about being destruction in human form. You didn’t need that right now and you don’t know what you would do if he did start that.

“I’m Guzma.” Is all he says. In all honesty, you’re a little let down by his lack of  _ any _ show, but he’s behaving himself as best as he can for your sake.

You mentally thank him, giving him the best ‘thank you’ look as you can. From the glance he gives you, you know he understands.

“Ah, a friend of my daughters?”

You flinch from the words, trying your best to get away from her and just collapse in your room. Jet lag really was getting to you, now that you weren’t out in the cold.

“I guess you could say I’m  _ his _ friend, yeah.” Every single part of you wants to sink into the floor.

She doesn’t make a comment on it, ignores it outright.

“Oh, how nice that you would come from Alola to visit. How long were you planning on staying, Guzma?” She doesn’t address you. She’s mad at you. She always did this when she was mad. Just ignore you until you knew you weren’t wanted, and you can’t help but feel yourself wanting to fall apart. How did you ever want to stay here to begin with?

You’re not even in the same room anymore, having headed towards your room. Part of you feels guilty for leaving Guzma in there, but you can’t be around her for any longer. This was all a mistake.

“Just a short while, if you don’t mind my imposing.” He sounds so formal, so uptight, so  _ normal _ . It makes you sick to your stomach. All you wanted was your horrible, disgusting trash boss back. “If you don’t mind, though -” He walks closer towards you, and your mother seems to understand.

“Oh, right, you two must be tired. Honey, show him the guest room, why don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Your voice is so small, like if you talk any louder it’ll break. This was a mistake.

“And your father will be home later, he’s at work right now. We could have a nice family dinner, if you want.”

“Sure.”

All you wanted was your shit to take home. All you wanted was to make this work, but it won’t work and you feel like an idiot for even trying.

“How ‘boutcha show me your room, huh?” His accent is back, but his voice is quiet. You appreciate the sentiment and summon up all of your courage to make your legs work again.

The house smells exactly the same as when you left, like firewood and ash and it’s so familiar and makes your head hurt. Everything is exactly the same now except for you and if it weren’t for Guzma being there you might have thought you dreamed the whole thing up. In fact, you can’t even imagine that you’re the same person as when you left.

Everything feels so different now.

Entering your old room, you can hear Guzma let out a chuckle.

“So, this is where you grew up, huh?” You shoot him a glare. “It’s nice, honest.” He picks up a little knick knack from your bookshelf and it makes you feel sheepish. Your room really was childish, now that you realized it. Full of dumb mementos of youth, memories of friends whose names you couldn’t remember anymore.

“What all did you wanna grab?” His voice is quiet, so much so that you can barely hear him. But you’ve become accustomed to listening for it, so it’s easy to pick up. “We’re leavin’ tomorrow afternoon, so whatever you want, ya’ better start soon.”

You absently nod, but your body is frozen. Everything in this room feels so foreign to you, after having spent a month away. The things you felt were precious now just seemed like clutter. Maybe that was for the better. Maybe this was what you needed. Closure that everything really was worth it.

Guzma sits on your old bed, laying back as if he belonged there. It makes you flustered - seeing a man laying in your childhood bed. In fact, this whole thing seemed pretty embarrassing.

Like bringing a man home to the family.

You needed to shake that idea from your head. That wasn’t what this was, by any means.

“Clothes, probably, maybe some of my more important junk.” Outside the sun is already starting to set, and you know your stepdad is going to be home soon. It makes you nervous, but when had you really been relaxed during this entire experience?

Guzma doesn’t mind when you sit on the bed next to him, just puts a reassuring arm on your shoulder.

“We can leave whenever ya’ want.” You nod.

The two of you rumage through your room, laughing at old memories - “I can’t believe your hair was that long, ew.” - and reminiscing about the most bittersweet - “Yeah, he was a huge dick. Good riddance, if you ask me.” It felt… nice. Like talking to an old friend.

No, it was  _ exactly _ that you were talking to an old friend. Guzma was your friend. No doubt about it.

He got together who knows how much money to get you here, stayed by your side the entire time, and make no mentions of just walking off. Hell, he could’ve just dropped you off at the airport, but instead he made the effort to come all this way. That  _ meant _ something.

Your head hurt, though. Memories could only be so pleasant after a while.

“You alright?” His voice is gruff, but he always means well. It feels weird for him to be asking such a nice question, such gentle words, it doesn’t sound like him. You tell him your head hurts, but it’s nothing, really. “Nonsense, c’mere.” He pulls you over to him, he’s sitting at the edge of the bed while you were sitting on the floor in front of him. He combs his fingers through your hair, and it feels amazing. Never in a million years would you have guessed he could be so gentle with his hands.

You let out a content sigh, almost like a purr.

This was nice.

You heard the front door open with a bang, and you can feel your blood run cold. Your step father was home.

“Don’t worry.” Guzma whispers, and you can’t help but feel even more nervous. Guzma wasn’t  _ like this _ he wasn’t supposed to reassure you with words, he was supposed to be loud and bigger and badder than anyone else. How could you be scared of some man you hadn’t seen in weeks when you were living with and working for a criminal? How could you-

“Honey, your Dad’s home!” Your mother calls from the other room, and you want to run.

Slowly you gather yourself to your feet, walking out to the living room with Guzma mere steps behind.

“Hey there, ----, glad to see you home.” You clench your fists tight, trying to find any and every solution to not have to confront them. A quick glance to Guzma shows you exactly what you need, something between a scathing anger and general disgust. Though, that could have just been his resting face. You’re not entirely sure at this point.

“That’s not my name.”

“Excuse me?”

“I came home to get some of my stuff. That’s it.” Both of your parents look at you as though you’ve lost your damn mind.

“You see, we shouldn’t have sent her to Alola, it’s nothing but trouble, that gang got her thinking like some damn queer!” He half-yells and you can feel your stomach become a black hole of anxiety and rage.

“I’m not a girl! And that’s not my name!” You scream as well as you can, your voice cracking under the hormones and your hands clenched so tight it hurts. Everything hurts, your head feels as though it’s about to split open. Everything seems to be spinning and you can see your step father approaching you.

“Don’t you back-talk me, young lady!” He rears a hand up, and you clench your eyes shut for the impact. It’ll only hurt for a second, that’s all it’s ever hurt for. It won’t be that bad this time. But… it never comes. You look up and see Guzma standing in front of you, your stepdad’s arm twisted upright.

“Puttin’ a hand on your own child cuz they got a backbone that you don’t like. Yer a fuckin’ scumbag, yknow that?” In this moment he looks so much larger than usual, his back straightened out, shoulders bolstered up a bit. Everything is too much and you’re thankful you can’t see the look on your parents faces. That’s not a memory you want to keep.

“Ey, go grab your bags, we’re leaving.” He says to you and your legs don’t want to cooperate but you force them to.

You can see the look of horror on your mother’s face when you walk away.

Fortunately you had already had a couple of bags packed up from when you were going through stuff earlier, and you grab them as well as you can manage with just two hands. Walking back into the living room you find your step father gone, the front door open, and Guzma waiting at the edge of the couch with an annoyed look on his face.

“Let’s go. There’s nothin’ for ya’ here, anymore.” He takes a few of the bags from you and slips his shoes on.

Outside the snow has gotten a bit thicker, and it’s nearly up to your calves at this point. It doesn’t matter, though. You’re just on the outskirts of town so it won’t be long before you’re back in civilization and can get a hotel room for the night.

By the time you make to look back for your house, to see if your mother was looking on in horror, or if your step father had returned or not, it’s already far gone on the horizon.

“Don’t look back.” Guzma offers, the snow making his teeth chatter a bit.

“How do you do it? Keep going, I mean.” You know there’s things he’d rather not talk about in his past. It’s tough to bring up and you don’t mean to press, but this is too much. This is so painful, and your heart won’t stop hurting.

“You just have to accept that there’s only so much you can do. Worryin’ won’t help, and neither will goin’ back.”

By the time you get to a hotel you’re frozen solid, but you made it without losing any limbs or fingers. That would’ve been absolute hell if you had gotten frostbite trying to get away from your abuser. The hotel only had one room available on such short notice but Guzma doesn’t seem to care, hands over the money without so much as blinking. You can’t help but appreciate him. All of this for you, and for what?

You can’t even hardly function.

When you get up to your room and can finally set all of your luggage down you can barely feel your arms. It was quite a walk and you can’t even believe you made it all the way there. Your body is exhausted and your mind is completely gone.

“I’m gonna change out of my clothes, so no peeking, okay?” You don’t have the energy to walk to the bathroom to change, especially since all your pajamas are in the luggage in this room, and you just ask Guzma to be polite enough to turn around.

“Yeah, yeah, fine, whatev’.” He does as he’s asked and turns to face the window, rummaging through his own bag - probably to find a change of clothes.

The snow gets everywhere when you take your shirt and pants off, and you can’t help but shiver at the cold. It wasn’t that bad, honestly, but you weren’t used to it anymore. Alola spoiled you with its tropical heat.

You shake the snow and water off your legs and slip into your pajama pants. After taking a moment to slip out of your binder, you put on an oversized tshirt and walk back towards Guzma. He still wasn’t looking, just staring away in heavy concentration. Though, the red on his ears gave away something - he had peeked. Maybe not on purpose, maybe just a second, but he saw  _ something _ . This isn’t the time to confront him about it, though.

You just needed sleep.

“You’re fine with sharing a bed, right?” Your voice startles him from his thoughts and he springs to his feet a tad too quickly and loses balance.

“I’ll sleep on the floor, don’t worry.” He says, nonchalant and actually looking at you now. Trying to play it cool, huh? What a dork.

There was only one bed - perks of getting things last-second.

“I don’t care, it’s fine. I just don’t wanna wake up in the morning with you bitching and moaning about back pain like some old man.” There’s a short moment of him griping about you calling him that, but eventually he resigns and accepts that you’ve won.

Turning off the lights you slip into bed. Behind you, you can hear him rustling about, likely changing out of his snow-caked clothes and into something dry and warm. Eventually you feel him get into bed, the mattress creaking and bowing at his body. Part of you wonders if this is an alright thing to do, but you can’t be bothered to stop. It wasn’t like you had any reason to oppose this. In fact, from the pitter-patter of your heart, it was hard to think anything about this was in any way wrong.

‘He’s my boss.’ You try to reason with yourself. ‘But... he’s here, he came to Sinnoh with me just to help me confront my parents and get the rest of my stuff, and he’s not here because he has to be.’

Behind you, you can hear him sneeze and shiver a bit, and you can’t help but let out a chuckle.

“Shud’up, it’s cold.”

“Then here,” Against all better judgements you roll over, curling up to him. He’s practically frozen to the touch - well, yeah, he wasn’t exactly dressed for the cold like he should have been. Hell, that was probably the thickest clothes he owned, now that you thought about it. What an idiot.

“I saw…” He says, quiet. “I said I wouldn’t, but I had a suspicion and it was just for a second, I swear.” He’s stuttering a bit, shivering under your touch. A feeling of uneasiness bubbles up in your stomach, but you refuse to let it out. “The scar, it’s from him, isn’t it?”

You have a long scar across the bottom of your back, diagonal, thick, faded from age. You remember it like it was yesterday. The belt buckle got flung out of his hand, it was an accident, you swore to it. It was just an accident.

“Big ole’ tough guy worried about me, huh?” You just want to laugh it off, forget about it. He gets the hint.

“Yeah, why else would I be here, huh?” He grabs you closer to him, arms practically crushing you into a hug. You scream and giggle at it, surprised and giddy. If anything, this feels like a weird sleep over. It's a lot of fun, if you had to be honest. “Now get some sleep before I really gotta start worryin’.”

“Okay, okay.” You laugh it off, but he doesn't let go, not that you're trying to move away really. In your half-awake state you yawn drearily, falling asleep on Guzma’s chest.

You sleep well that night.

**Author's Note:**

> my update schedule is essentially this:  
> if i have the next two chapters done after what i'm supposed to be updating, I'll go ahead and post the update. (ex: chapter 2 is out and i already have up to chapter 5 done, i'll go ahead and post chapter 3) otherwise, the next update will be on tuesday. That gives me two weeks to right the next chapter worst comes to worse.  
> my hand has been hurting recently due to overworking it but i've still been trying to get a little writing done when i can!


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